Here I am again. Spending days of my time wondering about all the things I’m wrong on. I must be wrong about some things. After all, I’m only human. But how can I know whether I’m truly right on what I believe? Haven’t we all been absolutely sure of something, only to find out later it was nothing more than a nice idea? I hate being wrong, as I’m sure most people do, so this thought that something that I cling to so passionately might be something other than true pains me.
Every once in a while, I’ll spend a few days wondering about these things and worrying about whether what I believe is actually the truth. I’ll begin to ponder something big, such as the great mysteries of God, things that I can’t quite understand. My inability to understand those truths makes me think of my perceived ability to understand the things I think I know. What if I’m wrong on something important? What if I believe so strongly in something intimately tied to God’s nature and I’m wrong about it? These worries begin to frustrate me and bring a sense of hopelessness. There are so many things we Christians need to get right about our faith, what if we get some wrong? What if they’re important things? Will God still love us even if we believe He’s something He’s not?
After struggling with these things, I came to a realization. I don’t need to be right about everything. My loveliness to God doesn’t change with my usefulness to Him. I’m certain that I believe some damaging lies about the nature of God and His relationship with us. The truth is, I can’t believe these things 100% correctly because I’m human. My tiny little finite brain cannot comprehend the mysteries of the Trinity or the depths of God’s Love.
My perspective of God will always be that of a human.
So what do I do then? Am I damned to hell for believing lies about God? No! That’s where grace comes in. God knows we’re imperfect. He knows that something created cannot understand the depths of the Creator. He doesn’t expect us to be right all the time. He doesn’t need us to be right all the time.
“nor is he [God] served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything.” – Acts 17:25 brackets mine
“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” – Roman 3:23
God doesn’t depend on our perfection. He doesn’t count on us being right all the time. He redeemed us in spite of our imperfections and our pitfalls. He chose us regardless of the mistakes we made or are going to make.
Still, wouldn’t it be nice to truly know God? Wouldn’t it be amazing to not believe any of the lies we cling so desperately to? Of course, it would! Thankfully, we are promised an eternity of God’s presence, which is a much better remedy for lies than anything I’ve ever heard of before. However, we shouldn’t be content in our searching. Psalm 34: 8 says, “Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!” We may never be able to fully know God and experience His full presence here, but that shouldn’t stop us from trying.
As I write this, I’m still nagged by significant questions about some big pieces of theology, but I know that God loves me no less for not understanding them.