Five days left. This is it. In just a few days, my family will be driving me down to Clarkston, then saying goodbye a couple of days later. Usually, in situations like this, I avoid thinking about the major thing I’ve gotten myself into until I’m actually there. When I wake up in Haiti or Mexico, that’s when I start to process what I’ve committed to.
I think I failed. Maybe it’s the significantly greater amount of preparation I had to do for this training compared to the weeklong or couple-month trips of the past. Maybe my family has mentioned it a few too many times. I don’t know, but whatever the cause, I failed. I’ve started to realize how big of a thing this is. Five months is a long time, you guys.
That’s not to say I’m not excited. I’m thrilled, but I’m also anxious, nervous, giddy, and so much more. This is it. I’m not a kid anymore. No more coasting through life when I get tired of the pressure. God’s given me one life to make Him known in and you can bet I can’t afford to waste it. I’m an adult now. It’s time to move. Time to push deeper. Time to dare God to shake me like He never has before and brace for an answer.
I’ve struggled for a long time with the temptation to grow complacent. To so many around me, I’m the missionary kid. I’m the radical Christian. I’m supposedly much deeper in my faith than so many around me, so who’s to say I can’t rest here for a while? I can grow my relationship later. For now, I’d rather spend my days on YouTube or playing games.
Now is the time to kill that mentality. There is always more of God to discover. There never will be a “good enough”. I have the opportunity to know the King of the universe in this life. Why would I let myself waste it on the easy route when He is before me, beckoning me deeper? That’s too good of an opportunity to pass up.
Now is the time to adventure. To enjoy the challenge. To laugh with the joyful and weep with the mournful. I have five days left. No more time to waste.